Awakening The Heroine Within
How many times have you disregarded or suppressed your dreams, your vision, your desires to make another more comfortable? Have you ever dampened your passion or minimized what is important to you out of fear of what someone may think?
As women, we are conditioned to be small, to take the one down, to depend on others to be our hero. Our voice, from a young age, may have been suppressed or ignored. I became scared to use my voice around the age of four. This was also the time I started to believe that my purpose in life was to take care of others, even if it meant to neglect myself. Slowly, almost at an unnoticeable pace, I wrapped my identity around others' emotions, choices, and rules for life. I consistently put myself down, quieted my inner knowing, so others could rise up and I could subsequently by loved and accepted. I tried to be a stepping stone on their life path instead of treading my own out of fear that I might not do it right.
The concept of "be small to be loved" created an epidemic of disempowerment and victimhood. Sometimes we settle for what we think we are supposed to do; just trying to do the right thing. Have you ever asked who or what you are doing the right thing for? Your answer may resemble something like "its just the next step (even though you are not ready)," or "I should probably have kids by 30 because otherwise I never will," or "I should just stay in this job, even though I am bored and unfulfilled....I don't have to enjoy what I do." Who's rules are these? Are they yours or were they pushed on you? The more you adhere to life rules that were not derived or thoroughly understood by you, the further disconnected from yourself you become. Your light dims and your hopes and dreams fade away.
The call to stand in my own truth and forage my own path came when I gave birth to my daughter. I now had this precious spirit to raise and I was struck by how she, from the very beginning, was her very own person, with her very own opinions, with her very own personality. She was, and is, un-apologetically herself. It was inspiring to witness. At first, the call scared me, it shook me. It felt like a forceful breakup with an old part of me I didn't know I needed to let go of.
I resisted the call, I wanted to stay in the familiar territory of making others the decision-makers of my life. I did not know who I was without the shield of co-dependence to protect me. But what I discovered is that I was living a muted version of a life un-lived. The realization that I was not living life to the fullest extent was enough for me to begin the journey back to myself, back to my home. I had to save myself and reject the notion that I was not good enough. I decided to make 'me' the priority.
To become your own heroin means to turn your light back on, to actively and un-apologetically go after your dreams, to rescue your own heart from pain, and fall head over heels in love with yourself.
The awakening begins as a low hum, a pulsing vibration, and it steadily increases in depth and brevity until you can hear the primal roar that comes from deep in your belly; the guttural sound can no longer be dampened or insignificant. It must be heard. Do you listen to her? Do you let her roar?
Turning inward and listening to your own inner voice is a crucial first step to becoming you own heroin. Cultivating sacred space so you can get quiet and creative, is important and you are worth that time. We must carve out time to be with ourselves, to listen, to receive. Our intuition is often subtle and whispers the quietest of messages. We need to tune into the internal messages that are often suppressed by external forces. Giving yourself some quiet time, even for only one moment, will give you that opportunity.
Acknowledge and Accept
Acknowledging and accepting your internal answers without judgement or criticism is the next step and probably the hardest to carry through. If you notice yourself judging your answers or trying to change them to fit a pre-determined mold, ask yourself whose judgments these are? Are they yours, or do they come from others? What would it be like to let go of evaluating your ideas and simply let them be. What would it be like to hold the answers gently and trust the message? This part takes time and practice. If you have had a lifetime of tuning yourself out and turning up the volume of others' opinions, this will be difficult. However, I promise it is possible. Once you have released the expectations of others, cherish what remains....a representation of your truest self and highest calling.
This is where you get to have your ego help you out a little bit. Our ego is the part of us that stores memory and experience, organizes them into sequential patterns, and then presents our brain with a "next right step." Our ego can be love based or fear driven. When you commit to being the heroin of your own life, the choices you make are rooted in love and self-reverence. Your ego can help you decide on what actions to take to carry out these choices. A cautionary note: our ego will remind you of why you SHOULDN'T act on these choices as well. Be present with those reasons, but ultimately let them go gently as they are just old fears, and keep moving forward. As you take action again and again, you will build unshakable trust with yourself and guide your actions to be aligned with your heroic nature.
Know that your heroine already exists, she is just awaiting your return.